I know a lot of people feel pressure to get married. We didn’t really feel much pressure the only pressure I actually felt was when I actually went to go shop for the engagement ring Because I’ve never been engagement ring shopping before the last time I even got a little bit close I ended up getting in a fight with a girl I was dating It was not even over buying the jewel… It was just a jewelry commercial. We saw on TV We were in kind of that weird sort of where’s this going kind of place And then we were sitting on the couch watching TV, and one of those De Beers diamond commercials came on And it used to end with [Announcer voice] A diamond is forever And the girl I was dating looked over at me, and she’s was like you know, a diamond is forever. I was like I know. So is styrofoam actually, [audience claps, whoos] Why are you crying hold on a second, I’m just saying it’s a lot cheaper and then you never lose your ring in the pool think about that just a boat key chain or just float I feel so sorry for guys when I see some of these jewelry commercials because I know that they’re targeted just towards guys and not towards women. There are commercials that come on like during a football game and the guys like oh that. Oh. That must be what she wants I’ll get her one of those, that open-heart whale-tail necklace thing that Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman is selling. I don’t know I don’t know if it’s a keychain or what but I’ll bet she’ll like it. The pandora bracelet, the, with the little charms on it where there’s a woman at the party you can tell so much about my life by looking at my bracelet Look at this, see you can tell I’ve been to Paris, there’s the Eiffel Tower And I like horses ’cause there’s a horse here and here’s a bottle of wine ’cause I’m bad at forming interpersonal relationships With that ad for the Levian chocolate diamonds You can’t tell me that some dude didn’t get a bonus that year ’cause I guarantee you They were sitting around a big boardroom meeting, and they were like all right item number 1 What do we do with all the ugly brown diamonds? And one dude in the back was like “ladies love chocolate!” They’re like woah where did that come from? Is that Phil? Alright Phil gets a Lexus this year, good for you Phil Actually, even Lexus does a commercial that feels like one of those Over-the-top jewelry ads they do it every year around Christmas time for their big December to remember. The big year-end event, they have a car in the driveway with a big bow on top of it in the commercial Husband and wife out there: “Merry Christmas!” “Oh it’s a car!” “Thank-ohh!” That’s cool I wish just once they would zoom in on the house to show the kids in the windows being like well guess I’m not getting that bike this year That’s not good dad messed up. I told you this isn’t good for us, so I Was getting out of this one. Subscribe to dry bar comedy for even more of the world’s largest collection of clean comedy