I started my day like I do most – behind the
stick at the Velveteen Lounge Kitsch-en. Then she walked in. My cousin Glendora. I
hadn’t seen her in a while. All those men were really taking up her time, though she
couldn’t catch a break in that department. She looked good, considering all she’d been
through. I need your help. Glendora never needed anybody’s help, so
this was big. My Franzia merlot is missing. I’ve looked
everywhere and I’m about to lose my mind. It was the last box they had and the traffic
was a nightmare. I’m at the end of my rope. I did what any good cousin would do in this
situation. I made her a drink. It didn’t have Franzia merlot, but she sucked it down
all the same. All I did was combine 2 oz of gin, ¾ of an oz of Barrow’s Intense Ginger
Liqueur, ½ oz fresh lime juice and 2 stoppers of Rose & Hibiscus Flower Extract from the
Wild Hibiscus Flower Company in a cocktail shaker, shake with ice and strain into a cocktail
glass. Thanks, hon. I needed that. She looked like she hadn’t eaten in a while
and that cocktail was going right to her head. I threw together a bite to keep her straight.
It was soaked in bourbon, but then again, Glendora is soaked in wine. To make those
degenerate cheese balls, all you do is combine 8 oz of softened cream cheese with ⅓ of
a cup crumbled goat cheese, 1 oz bourbon, 1 TBSP dried onion, ½ tsp garlic powder and
½ tsp salt. Refrigerate for about an hour, roll into small balls, then roll the balls
in black sesame seeds. Serve with crackers. Your favorite lushes will love ‘em. I knew time was running out on finding that
box of wine. Who knew where she’d been that day? Anybody could be drinking that wine.
No one was above suspicion and suddenly all of the characters around here looked shady.
I was just about to throw in the towel when I saw that telltale box peeking out from a
pile of chip bags and spray cheese. Glendora was planning a little party of her own and
none of us were invited. That’s my cousin for you. Though she did come through with
a glass of her wine. I guess the guilt was too much for her. Deep down she’s a good
gal. Just don’t mess with her wine. Thank you for visiting the Velveteen Lounge
Kitsch-en. Do yourself a favor and subscribe to our channel for all the drinks you can
handle, along with live broadcasts where you never know what will happen. See you on Thursday.