I’m happy to be here. I feel some of you are like okay. What’s going on with this guy, you know? Are we at a show or are we being robbed, you know? You are at a show, but you might also be getting robbed; time will tell, okay? Let’s talk about me for a moment. We’ll start with some basics. I live across the street from a 7-eleven all right It’s not funny yet, but okay cool I drink a lot of Mountain Dew okay, it’s like my only vice I drink a lot of Mountain Dew. I’m in that 7-eleven constantly drinking Mountain Dew okay, getting refills I’m in there so often that everyone who works in that 7-eleven They have a nickname for me when they see me they call me Mountain Dew guy Yeah, do you guys know how much Mountain Dew I have to drink not to have the nickname throat tattoo guy It is a lot It’s so much mountain do you guys it’s a lot It’s… For me to walk into 7-eleven and the guy to be like Mountain Dew guy and the new guy who works here to be like not throat or face tattoo guy? He drinks more Mountain Dew than the fact that he ruined his life by tattooing his face The guy’s like yeah, what aren’t you getting about this you know? Yeah, I also know it was a bad idea to tattoo my face. Just so we’re all on the same page, okay? Yeah Yeah, I uh? When I tattooed my face well, I didn’t when I got my face tattooed When I got my face tattooed I was like there will be positives and there will be negatives You know I want to be honest with you guys it has been mostly negative so far. Okay. I can’t even think of one positive, I’m gonna be real with you guys uh So I’m here to make you laugh tonight, but I’m also here to say if some of you are thinking about tattooing your face Probably don’t, okay I saw – I saw some of you come in and I don’t think you could handle it all right, it’s not Could not hack it. It’s it’s rough out here All my tattoos are real, I shouldn’t have to say that But sometimes after shows I meet people and they’re like wow crazy man You look crazy. Are those all real? And I have to be like what what are you talking about right now? Of course they’re real. What do you think I drew all these on today? I just wake up every day and draw these on Like what would I stand to gain from drawing fake tattoos on my throat and face? I just wake up every morning, and I’m drawing them on like you know what I just want to old people to be afraid of me That’s what I’m about you know I just wake up every day and draw tattoos on my fingers like I just want to struggle in job interviews. You know When one time after a show, a lady comes up to me, and she’s like don’t be so hard on yourself And I’m like thank you so much. Will you give me a job and she was like it’s nice meeting you Comeback! I need work. Subscribe to drive our comedy for even more of the world’s largest collection of clean comedy