I’ve never had a porter before in my life. What is going on?! Ooooh what? That is a window. Where are we right now?! There’s a tub in here! There is
an actual real-life bathtub! Please use the non-slip mat we’ve
provided for your own safety. Why thank you fancy pants hotel
you’re so sweet! Claire: There’s a gym here
Justin: Yes Claire: There’s a pool, there’s an indoor pool
Justin: Somewhere A private garden and a restaurant where
you may enjoy your breakfast for $900 There’s a freaking vaulted ceiling! I’m sure there’s places to eat [close to the hotel]
but let me tell them there isn’t and that we’re being forced, our arms are just
tied behind our backs and we have to order room service we have no choice but to eat in
bed. We have a vaulted ceiling but no cake?!
What is this life?! Justin: They just want to torture you!
*Claire cries dramatically* Our room has a doorbell.
*doorbell ringing repeatedly* This is- it’s- it’s- it’s in a basket. *Dance Party With No Music* We have found out that the city we are
in is pronounced “soo joh” not “soos how.” The plan for today is gardens.
That seems to be the thing here so there’s a garden right outside so we’re
gonna do that garden and there’s a garden far away, we’re gonna do that
garden and then if we have the energy we’re gonna do another garden. So this is our hotel um not complaining. That was outrageously fun. I love archery
every time I see one of these things Renaissance Festival everything I’m like yes give me some arrows so now Justin is gonna try. Claire: Wait!
Justin: That would have been… Claire: Did that hit the bullseye?!
Justin: It did! Claire: That hit the bullseye?! EYOO! Justin is really good at this. JUSTIN! He’s gotten two bullseyes. That was a bullseye too! Claire: You won a thing Justin, look!
Justin: Xiexie! Justin just schooled the crap out of me in archery Wow! Justin: So I didn’t get 8 but I got 4 I mean, just only 4 out of 8 on the bullseye, give me a freaking break dude. They have someone stationed
out front in the lobby to take care of people and help them get places and we
asked him about where we were going and he’s like Oh yes by taxi it’s only 15
minutes and we’re like what about by bus? And he’s like by public bus?! Yes by public bus and
he’s like I mean it’s two yuan why are you taking the public bus?! We’re taking the public bus because it’s 20 cents, that’s why. It’s a 30-minute ride so we’re gonna settle in. We’re going to go back the way we came and decide on
where we’re gonna eat a fried fish that is cut to make it look like a squirrel
and it looks more like a bloomin’ onion to me. So we’re going to be going to this
restaurant right here, super cute! It is a bloomin’ onion but a fish and it’s a little- I mean it looks
like a screaming squirrel. That is bizarre. Justin: It’s good. Justin: It’s really good. It’s literally fish with sweet and sour sauce that’s been fried. Claire: It’s like fish candy mmm oh man
Justin: It’s delicious though! That’s great! So it’s just fruit covered in sugar. I think that’s a tomato.
I think the top one on mine is a tomato. This is literally a tomato covered in sugar, why am i eating this?! I’m just waiting for the pineapple and
the kiwi and the grape. Justin: Is it that bad? It’s just weird, ugh. You have to have a five or a ten
in order to buy a subway tickets and there’s no one at the counter
to give us better change. Xiexie! The Lingering Gardens were first built
in 1593 and they are packed to the brim with gorgeous landscapes and old
buildings. Meandering through the architecture felt like going back in time
and the environment was amazingly quiet. Claire: It was actually smaller than we thought
we got it done in like what, an hour?
Justin: It was pretty We just took a taxi. It cost two dollars
and ninety cents. That was such luxury! Claire: That saved us probably 40 minutes of walking
Justin: 40 minutes pool time! That’s 40 minutes of pool time this is- we’re monetizing our time people we have access to a pool now. NO ROMPING In order to swim in this pool
we have to have a swim cap which we have to purchase. Okay listen, the alternative to
not buying a swim cap is wearing a shower cap HAHAHAHA This is possibly is the funniest thing
I’ve ever done in my life. We’re planning on lounging. Claire: Wait where’s your hat?!
Justin: I took that off as soon as possible. but the hat’s the best part! That was very refreshing. We found a place to eat it.
It is across the street from the hotel. Look fresh vegetables and fruit, I’m so excited. We ordered the big size, I’m not sure we knew what we were doing. Claire: This is amazing
Waiter: It’s very big Claire: It is very big, I’m so excited
Justin: Very big, we though we were- hahah For frame of reference this is a normal place that
Justin and I would share and this is the plate-hahahaha oh god. It’s like a two-foot plate look
these are look at the chopstick length How long is it chopstick? This is huge
there’s not a whole lot of room left in our bellies Man there’s still a lot of food left. Halp! Alright so after having
that giant freaking meal we’re candy shopping. Get them all get like a whole, yeah yeah okay so get that one and get this like all like strip Justin: Are you sure?
Claire: YES Every time I see gummies it’s like the
once in a lifetime Justin: This one too?
Claire: I need- YES Give me all the gummies! I’ve been looking for candy for days.
For days I’ve been asking for candy! Justin: You’re an addict. Claire: NOTHING NOBODY HAS CANDY HERE
Justin: YOU’RE AN ADDICT We were looking up articles about safety in China
and they said number one risk of death is from cars! Pedestrians have no right of way at all. None. Never play chicken with a
Chinese car because they will hit you. We’re taking full advantage of our 12pm checkout time. We’re checking out at 12pm. The Tongli Water Town is over a thousand years old and is sometimes called the
Oriental Venice thanks to its quaint architecture and many canals that weave
throughout the town. This menu is hilarious.
Far, er grass cjoclem The dry vegetables of plum burns the meat.
The temple esplodes the chicken cub. The stem slices the We got fresh fried shelled shrimp so that’ll be interesting. A meat if the sugar vinegar. Tomato scrambled! That’s good! We’re trying a bag ginger sugar Claire: *sniff sniff* what?!
Justin: mmmm That is good! Claire: That is strange.
Justin: That’s so good! REALLY strange. Claire: There’s like ginger…that’s it? Why is it spicy?
Justin: Because of the ginger Justin: Peach Icecream It’s delicious I want it Claire: This is blueberry cheese.
Justin: Tastes like blueberry cheese. Weird. So we’re getting the peach ice cream
tea because it is delicious. We got to go, we got to run we gotta get
a bus to a subway to a walk, then a taxi then a train. This is what’s gonna happen today. We left without him?! If I go to jail…I can’t do that