– Lately I’ve been really
missing old school YouTube and so I thought for today’s video I would do a little bit of a throwback. I would do a Q and A. Does anyone do these anymore? I feel like we are, obviously, very close. I have my vlog channel that I get a lot more personal on. I feel like I get very up close and personal on this channel. Those fitting room try-ons though. And I really enjoyed my last video. It was sort of like a catch up, life update that I filmed and I got pretty vulnerable in it. But in that experience of opening yourself up and
sharing personal things, I find that you actually feel a lot of empowerment as a result because of that. And so I thought, you know what? Let’s keep this ball rolling. Let’s like get intimate,
get close together. I am going to, basically, answer every question that comes my way. There’s nothing off limits. So, let’s go ahead and see what you guys asked me on Instagram, which by the way, shameless plug. If you aren’t following me in Instagram, then you wouldn’t know that
I was gonna do this video. Hello! That was really annoying, sorry. All right, without further ado, here we go. Do you hate when people
say without further ado? I do but I say it all that time. Anyways. The first question that came through of any question in this entire Q and A was how are you doing and that, you guys. I haven’t been through
all of these questions yet but I did notice a couple of them saying the same thing and just, that’s so sweet. I’m okay. I’ve done better but I’ve also done worse. I think at the moment I’m just going through kind of a little bit, I guess I’m on the upswing, if you will. I’m going through a little
bit of a mental health crisis. Just a little bit of confusion as to what I wanna do with my life, what I wanna do with my channel. I’ve really, really, really been struggling with the work life balance which is something that
I talk a lot about. I’m sure I’ll talk about
it in future questions. I’m sure people will ask about it, but I’m doing okay. I’m working really hard into getting into a routine. I’ve started exercising a little bit more which always makes me feel good mentally. But overall, you know what? I’m doing okay. And I’m all right with that right now. I’m fine with that. Did you go to college and, if so, what was your major? I can’t remember if
I’ve ever answered this in a video before, but I um… Here’s my college experience. Do not do as I say or as I do because at 19 years old, or no, I was 18 still. It was the spring semester of
my freshman year of college. I actually joined college late. I went a semester late because I chased my
ex-boyfriend out to school because I thought he was cheating on me. He was. I literally paid $10,000 to go to school two hours away just to keep tabs on my boyfriend who was still doing stuff behind my back and I was trying to basically chase a boy. That’s all I was doing. It ended up not even working out. We broke up and then got back
together many, many times. If you watched my story
times, you’re familiar. But I didn’t even go
to class half the time. I liked it at first but it just wasn’t, I don’t know. Some people are very educated and I have the utmost respect for that and I think that if you are in a position of privilege where you’re able to get it paid for or you’re able to have
scholarships or whatever, I think that that’s awesome. But for me, I was paying for it myself. I had student loans that I was taking out and it just wasn’t for me. There was nothing in the world that I wanted to do that I felt a degree was necessary for. Even though it took me a really long time to figure it out, I have found a career and a path that I feel like is right for me. So my college experience was different because it was the spring semester. I didn’t do any kind of like Greek life. No one really was a new student, as a freshman anyway, so there weren’t any kind
of like social activities. I didn’t really make any friends. I only hung out with my boyfriend. I cried every day. It was not a great experience. But I did work a job while I was there, obviously, ’cause I still needed money. And so I worked a restaurant job and I had such happy memories at that job. So that was my college
experience in a nutshell. How do you learn to become
confident in your body, especially when you live in LA? That’s something that I’m
still working on, to be honest. I don’t think that there’s any rule book for how to be confident. I think it’s just something that comes, for me, with age, with time, a lot of research, following a lot of really body positive accounts on Instagram, reading, dismantling my
own internalized fat phobia that I’ve had my entire life. Being in LA doesn’t
really change that much. I mean, there are occasional moments where I’m going through like
a really bougie area of town and I stop in a coffee shop or whatever and I feel like I get looked at but also that could just
be my own internal thing. But they could very well be looking at me. But I think that’s just something that has to come internally. Like it has to come with time. For me, I’m really lucky
that I do live in LA and I have a good amount of friends here that I’ve had in my life for a really long time. I have three of my closest friends from back home in Nashville that live here in LA. So it feels just a little
bit more normal to me. I’m not like out at events trying to make friends with all of these like
Instagram models or anything. Which would be fine. It’d be awesome but I feel lucky that I have like a normal life here. I just happen to live in Los Angeles but like still live my normal life if that makes sense. There are moments where it bothers me but it’s not really any different than if I were to live in another city. Do you ever feel like
you need to lose weight? I’m trying to be body positive
but I feel like I should. Um, yes! To be perfectly honest, yes. I don’t think that it’s realistic for me to sit here on my channel and talk about body confidence and body positivity without talking about the whole
entire scope of the journey. There are many, many times where I consider losing weight. Even, I mean you guys, to be perfectly honest, even a few weeks ago I sort of went on a mini
pseudo diet for a few days. I was trying to convince myself that it wasn’t a diet, that I was just taking
better care of my body. Diet culture can be so
ingrained in our minds that you’re even trying to like defend it and I felt like I slipped backwards a little bit on my journey and I definitely tried to diet. I don’t think that there’s any person who is on a journey of body confidence or body neutrality or self-love or whatever it may be that
doesn’t have setbacks. I think it’s a very normal thing and, unfortunately, it’s just something that’s part of the ride. You just gotta strap in and enjoy it, but. Strap in. That sounded odd. But to answer your question, yes. I do feel like I need
to lose weight sometimes but not because of myself. It’s because of outside opinions. Thankfully, because of amazing creators like Megan Crabbe who’s
from bodyposipanda, quotes and articles and things that people share on
Instagram as well as Twitter, reading different books and stuff, it really helps me a lot
to snap myself out of that. Yikes. How do you deal with negative
body talk from relatives? I have only really experienced
it maybe once or twice. I feel very lucky because of that but also I live really
far from all of my family. Like my Dad lives in Nashville, my mom lives in Phoenix. All of the rest of my sides of the family live in other states. So, there’s not a whole lot of time that I spend with relatives. It’s just, you know, certain
trips and vacations and stuff. It is a question that I get a lot and something that, unfortunately, a lot of people deal with. Unsolicited comments
about people’s bodies, body shaming maybe other people or celebrities in front of them, or making fat phobic statements. The only advice I can give is enforcing boundaries, honey! Boundaries are the way to go. I know it doesn’t seem like the easiest feat in the entire world and you have no control over how someone may react to those boundaries, but by saying things like, hey talking about bodies or
weight or size or whatever is something that’s actually
really triggering for me and I’m on a journey towards self-love or self-compassion or body neutrality or
whatever you wanna say, and I’d really appreciate it if you don’t talk about
those things in front of me. Or you can always change the subject. That’s another thing that works. To me it’s about, obviously,
scanning your environment. Knowing where you’re safe
and where you’re comfortable. And if you don’t feel like you’re in a place where you can be like, hey don’t talk about that, just change the subject or walk away. Go to the other room. There are many ways to deflect it but if it’s someone you
really love and care about and they’re saying things that hurt you, I do think it’s probably a good idea to tell them
that they’re doing that because there are things that I used to talk about that probably would be so, so offensive and triggering to some people and I probably didn’t even
realize it at the time. So, bringing that to someone’s attention in a productive, loving way I think is the best way to deal with a situation like that. Someone asked what is your
favorite “Office” character? I love this question. What the heck. This is probably the best question I’ve been asked yet and the answer is Kevin. – At least once a year I like to bring in some of my Kevin’s famous chili. – Kevin is my favorite “Office” character. Drew often says that I am Kevin. We simply just have the
same outlook on life. I just very deeply relate to Kevin. Is living in LA what
you thought it would be? I have to be perfectly honest. Like, no. But not because of LA itself. It’s because of how I didn’t expect the level of difficulty in balancing work and
life since moving to LA. So, for example, when I lived in Phoenix I had a really small group of friends that Drew and I were close with that we would hang out with
maybe once a month, if that. But the rest of the time it was just working on
YouTube all the time and then I spent a lot of time traveling to LA for work and I would have a ton of friends here, lots of YouTube friends, lots of real life friends that I’ve had, like I said, forever and I would spend that four
days that I was in town or week that I was in town or whatever and try to catch up with all of them and then I would go back to Arizona and continue working
on YouTube and whatnot. But since moving here, all of those people live here. And it is an extremely privileged problem to be like, meh I have too many friends! But I do genuinely feel like I am always doing something here and yet I never see anybody. People are always texting me being like, “Where are you? “I haven’t seen you since you moved here.” And then factoring in trying to balance my relationship with
that as well as my job. It just, it’s a lot more
difficult than I expected. I think I thought I would
have all of this time to do more exploring of the city and go out to eat and try new places and I haven’t really gotten to do that. But in 2020 I’m starting to outsource my work a little bit more. A few little editing
projects here and there and hopefully lightening my workload because it’s literally just me. So, hopefully that will change. But to answer your question, yes it’s much different than I expected because I thought I would
have all of this time and I essentially have
literally no time in the world. How do you accept that
you’ve gained/lost weight? It’s definitely a lot more complicated than just one answer. But something that I always go back to is that it’s not my job in this world to be attractive or a certain
weight or a certain size. I don’t exist just to be pretty or appealing to other people. The sooner you detach your worth from the actual number that’s on the scale or that’s inside your pants or whatever, the happier you will be and the more you realize like, okay wait, these two have nothing
to do with each other. Like my size and my weight and my self-worth and
what I offer the world, my personality and my bright
light and all of that, like these two worlds don’t collide. Like they have nothing
to do with each other. Who’s the most famous
celebrity you’ve seen since moving to LA? Hmm. We saw Billy Bob Thornton at The Grove. That was pretty cool. And then last weekend when
our friends were in town we were at Alfred getting
coffee and a bagel and we saw freakin’ Hopper
from “Stranger Things” come out of the building and we went on his
Instagram and it was him because he had just posted that he had walked out of Kate Somerville ’cause he got a facial the
day of the SAG Awards I think, and it was him 100%. So that was probably the two coolest. And then we also saw Andy Milonakis. Which, if you guys remember him from back in the day, that was pretty cool. He was at the Melrose Trading Post. Another question that I
thought was interesting was how long do you think
you’ll stay in LA for? That is a loaded question. I actually haven’t talked
about this on my channel but maybe I’ll just go ahead and chat. I almost moved back to Arizona really shortly after we moved here. Oh God, I can already read
the comments in my mind of people being like, “What?” I don’t know, y’all. I was going through it. I basically decided
right after I moved here that I made a huge mistake. And not because I missed Arizona or anything like that. I sort of touched on
this on my vlog channel but moving here, like I just
got put through the ringer. There were so many different things that started bothering me. So, okay, I guess I wouldn’t
say right after I moved here. But maybe two months after I moved here. So we’ll say like November I really started struggling and I like legit almost broke
my lease and moved home. Right when we moved here I got three packages stolen. They were all PR packages, packages that I needed for brand deals that were paying my bills and someone stole them off my porch. So then we had to pay money
to get a doorbell camera and we have like a really good security system around the house now. And then on top of that, like maybe a week later or so my license plate got stolen off of my car. Which was just a really
annoying pain in the ass after I had literally gone
through all of the trouble to go to the freaking DMV in LA and to get my new license plate and then I had to go back again and get a replacement one and then because I had to get a replacement license plate, I also had to get a
replacement parking pass because my block obviously
has street parking and the license plate needs
to match your parking pass or else you’ll get a ticket. Which each ticket is $74 for those of you that were wondering. I got two tickets in
like a two week period, one was $63, one was $74, because I got back to my car like both times as they
were writing the ticket. Um, what else? I lost my keys when I was in San Diego and had to take an Uber
from San Diego back to LA to get my spare key and then I had to take the
train back to San Diego, Uber to my car, and then drive my car back. It’s just, it was a lot. You put up with a lot
to live in a big city and that was something that I definitely just didn’t expect to
have such a hard time with because I visited here so many times. I felt like I was just being tossed around in a dryer, essentially, like for the first couple
months that I lived here. I know I’m forgetting things but there was just so much stuff that just kept happening that were really getting to me. And I thought, you know, why am I spending this much money to live here when I could just, and I went on this whole downward spiral. (giggles sarcastically) But I’m really, really glad I stuck it out because now that I’ve gotten
a lot more used to it, I do feel like LA is gonna be somewhere that we will be for the extended future. Do I think we’re gonna live here the rest of our lives? I have no idea. I don’t know about LA itself, but definitely probably
southern California. I could go on a whole other tangent because I’m really interested in investment properties in other places. We’ll see where that goes in 2020. For the time being, we are in LA, I mean, at least, at the very least, until our lease is up which
is in August, September. So we’ll at least be here until then. I just wanna like live the most out of the experience as I
can, if that makes sense. Like I would hate to move back and then realize that I left too soon without giving it a full shot. So, I see us being here
for the next little while. Drew loves it here. He never wants to leave. So, it’d probably be me, ironically, that would end up taking us back home. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen. But it almost did. I’m glad I snapped out of that. Just for fun, current favorite TV show? We watched a lot of TV shows
on my break from YouTube. We watched “You” season two on Netflix. We watched “Dirty John”. We watched the “OJ: American
Crime Stories” series. We watched “Virgin River”, “Cheer”, the Aaron Hernandez docu-series, and one more other one that I can’t think of at the moment. But of all of those, I would say “Cheer” was probably my favorite. It’s probably my favorite
TV show as of recently. It was so good. I would literally die for Jerry. I’m not even kidding. Like would lay my life
on the line for that man. I cried so much during that show. Oh, “Sex Education.” Probably, yeah, I would
say “Sex Education” is probably my favorite
show at the moment. Season two was so, so good. Oh my God it was so good. That’s probably my
current favorite TV show. Everyone should watch it. It’s so good. So inclusive. So informative. Mm! I got a couple of different questions on how to deal with criticism or haters or people who hate on me and I wish I had more efficient
answers to give, I guess. Dealing with criticism is something that I’ve never been good at. Even if it’s constructive criticism, I think I’m terrible at it. I’m a very sensitive being, if you will. I don’t really like being told that what I’m doing is wrong. However, it’s something
that just is part of life. So, when people are like, “Hey, you should fix the
audio in your videos”, that type of stuff
doesn’t really bother me. It’s the nitpicky
criticism that bothers me. Like, oh my gosh! You shouldn’t have titled this video this because everyone knows that
thrift stores don’t pick what, like listen. I think you can never, ever, ever, ever cover every single base when you’re talking about
something in a video. Otherwise you would spend the entire video making 87 disclaimers. But there is something to be said for the way it makes your
brain think when you’re filming because I can already tell when I’m editing a project what things people will
come at me sideways for. Like if I talk about a thrift store being size inclusive people are like, “Well you didn’t talk about
this size so it’s not!” It’s like you can never please everybody and that’s something that I really had to get used to recently, or just over the years anyway, but a lot more recently. I do feel like I get a lot of really nitpicky
comments on my channel. And I think that nitpick
culture, if you will, I’m gonna call it that, is something that’s so
prominent these days and I think it just comes from a lot of people being frustrated in their own life, in their own scenario, and it gives them some sort of release or form of control or something. There’s a lot of
backhandedness that goes on. And then there are times where it just comes out of nowhere and you just completely don’t expect it and you’re just like, why are
you so pressed about that? About that one little thing? Is it really that serious? Is it really that serious though? No, it’s not. It’s the freaking internet! My whole thing is I just don’t understand. I’ve never personally hate watched someone or left a negative comment because I just, there’s so much to do. I just click off the video or I unsubscribe and then like move on with my life. It’s not even as much the
hateful comments that get to me as much as the little ones
that get under your skin where they’re like, “You
should take your dog to a vet” and I’m like, if you only knew how many thousands of dollars I have spent on this dog over the course of nine years. You know, just like things like that, it makes you feel really defensive. But something I have to remember, kind of backtracking a little bit, is that everyone is on their own journey. You never know what someone is dealing with behind the scenes. They could be going through a loss. They could be going through a breakup. They could be bullied at school. They could be bullied in their own home. Victims of abuse. Like you truly never know. So I try as best as I can to take things with a grain of salt. If the worst thing that happens to me is I get some hate comments, like all right. I’m fine with that, you know? I mean, I’m not fine with it, but I’ll survive. Something I really try to focus on and something that Taylor Swift talked about when I went and saw her Reputation
Tour a couple years ago was that like if the people
that are closest to you have opinions about you, that’s one thing. But people who don’t even know you having opinions on you has no weight on who you are at all whatsoever because they don’t know you. I’ve had to accept the fact that people aren’t gonna like me. That’s totally fine. I have stumbled across Guru
Gossip columns about me before or friends have told me that
they’ve found things about me and it’s just, it’s whatever. I have sympathy for those people. Like I really do. Whatever they’re going through
must be pretty terrible. But at the end of the day, it has nothing to do with me and it has everything to do with them. Maybe I went there. I don’t know. So I think that’s gonna be all the questions I’m gonna answer ’cause I feel like I’ve talked a lot and I need to go, to be honest. I have a lot to do today. But I don’t know. I just thought it’d be something
fun and different to try. It’s not different. It’s not that different at all. It’s literally just a Q and A but I haven’t done it in a while. So I hope you guys enjoyed this video. Don’t forget to subscribe. If you’re brand new to my channel, this is the first video
you’re seeing of mine, sorry. But also hi, welcome. Subscribe if you haven’t already. Or maybe you’ve watched a few videos and you haven’t subscribed yet. Right there. God, that’s annoying. I would not subscribe if that were me. Give this video a thumbs
up if you enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts
in the comments below. I love you guys so, so much. Thank you so much for
sending your questions, for all the support and love you give me. Maybe we’ll do more of
these in the future. But in the meantime, I will see you guys in my next video. Bye! (upbeat funky music)
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