(soft piano music) – So I travel for a living
and I’d probably say that when people see me on the streets, the most common question that I get is if I want to buy drugs. And today I’m going to show you how to not only cut your green onions, but also how to store them
so that they don’t get wilted and basically I just want you to know how to feel like you are the
master of your green onions, and that they bow to you. The first thing you want to do is you want to line up the
roots so that they’re even. ‘Cause you don’t wanna cut
into the wrong area of it. You see how it’s white
and then it turns green. I’m gonna try to get them all in one. You know… OK, yeah, you wanna also make sure you get a knife where it’s obvious which side is the sharp side. OK, now that we’ve removed the roots, I’m going to put these aside for a second. You could pick whatever
size dices you want. I’m going to work with a half-inch dice. I got these green onions
from the farmers market. The farmers market is a
little bit like going to jail where you just gotta kick somebody’s (beep) as soon as you get there, otherwise they’re gonna think you’re weak. And that’s how you dice your green onions. If you ever find that your
green onions are wilted, or slimy or limp or broken
or anything like that, chances are you’re (beep) up the storage part of it. And I’m just gonna show
you two basic methods for storing green onions that are going to maintain moisture and basically bring you a lot of joy. And start with the paper towel method. This is basically… What we’re doing is we’re
wrapping it in paper so that we can maintain the moisture. I don’t seem to have any paper towels. I have toilet paper
which is paper as well. It’s one ply so I’m gonna try to wrap it up quite a bit so that
I can get the same thickness. You wanna wring it out and
then you wanna unfold it. It might break apart a little bit but I’m used to doing this
with paper towels so I didn’t use nearly enough toilet paper. And I think I might have
dampened it a little too much. So that’s gonna keep moisture in there and you can get a couple extra
days of storage on these. OK, the second method is
called the water bottle method and I’ve just got a standard
issue plastic water bottle here and we just wanna find
a place to cut ’em. Since you know, green onions are great at livening up
salad, and rice bowls, soups, stews, omelets, cracker spreads, french fries, pizza, cheese balls. And we’re gonna put some water into it. Probably just enough to cover the roots. I like to find a window sill or something where they’re going to get some sunlight because they actually
still continue to grow. Ah. (beep) All right. Well, anyway. That’s how you store your green onions. (piano music)