Jeff: Hey, Austin. You want you want to play some Mario games? PBG: Yeah. Jeff: How about this one? Or this one? PBG: Okay. Jeff: Or, or this one, or- PBG: Yeah. Jeff: How about this one, or [PBG: Yeah.] this one even. [PBG: Yeah.] Jeff: This one, [PBG: Yeah.] or this one? PBG: Yeah Jeff: Wha-what do you think? Jeff: Okay PBG: Yeah Jeff: When you first boot up the game, you’re going to immediately realize how distinctly NOT a mario game this is. For one thing, it has cutscenes. PBG: And you’ve probably already seen them. In fact they were incredibly popular clips used in Youtube poops for a while. Mario: So this is where Wendy’s hid the real coins. PBG: Let’s just say, they’re not very good. Jeff: The voices and animations in particular go way past the realm of bad into the uncanny offputting. It’s almost like watching a terrible budget version of the Super Mario Brothers Super show. PBG: The saddest part is that they’re easily the best part of the entire game. If only because they ARE so terrible. Mario: Where’s the princess? Luigi: Over there! PBG: Yeeeaah… Jeff: The game starts out with Mario and Luigi returning to the Mushroom Kingdom To attend a picnic that Princess Peach is hosting. Mario: Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic. Eh, Luigi? Luigi: I hope she made lots of spaghetti. SPAGHETTI PBG: As it turns out bowser leaves a letter for our heroes telling them exactly what he’s done. Because storyline Jeff: He’s captured the princess and for some reason he owns seven different hotels. Mario: The princess is now a permanent guest at one of my Seven Koopa hotels. Jeff: Wait, so why does bowser have hotels? None of that’s explained. But what he does do is he dares us to come and get her. Mario: I dare you to find her if you can. Jeff: I don’t know about you, but I take dares Very Seriously. Mario: We gotta find the princess. Luigi: And you gotta help us! Mario: NOOO PBG: And that’s the beginning cutscene that plays before the game even starts. There’s a lot more scattered throughout the game, but more on that later. Jeff: For now, I say let’s actually start playing the game. Mario and Luigi come upon the first hotel. It doesn’t look that bad, but as we all know: Luigi: Looks are deceiving when Koopas are involved. PBG: Um… Okay? Am I supposed to understand what’s going on? Jeff: Also, was Luigi being just a tad bit racist there? Luigi: Looks are deceiving when Koopas are involved. Jeff: This is unacceptable! Because I don’t know if you guys know this, but I identify as Koopa kin. You-you see I-I’m actually a Koo- The first thing you’re going to notice about this game is that it’s 100% undoubtedly NOT a regular Mario game. PBG: The object of the game is to go around the hotel and close doors. You do this by riding the elevator to different floors, stomping on enemies that are in your way, and That’s it. That’s all you do. Jeff: Yep, that’s the entire game. Thrilling I know. One thing that definitely has to be noted is how terrible the controls are. A lot of what you’re doing has a delay that’s really hard to get used to and often puts you in a position where you can easily fall off PBG: There were so many times when we were just trying to get into an elevator on the edge of the map and ended up falling to OUR DOOM. Oh no, Mario. He’s dead. Jeff: Eventually the game starts to ramp up in difficulty a little bit. Enemies can start to come out of doors that you’ve already closed And sometimes those doors are right next to you which in combination with the control delays Makes it so you have zero time to React to what’s going on. PBG: And you have to do all of that while constantly listening to this: [horrible music] PBG: You know what, I kind of like. It it grows on you. Jeff: My favorite part of the game by far is that when you beat a level Mario does a little dance. PBG: And then he flies away. Bye-bye Maro! Jeff: And then it was said he ascended into the heavens. Wow. You know now that I think about it, why are we even here closing all these doors? What’s the point? Shouldn’t bowser be hiring a bunch of managers to manage his hotels and close his doors for him? Mario the hero Closing doors. All day, every day. PBG: Eventually the game becomes a fight with tedium because they start to introduce enemies that take multiple hits to kill. And as we’ve said they also start making the enemies open doors that you’ve already closed So you end up having to backtrack to the same floors you’ve already been to. It’s not very fun. It can actually become so tedious that this is how we reacted almost every time we beat a level in the game. PBG: I’m not-I’m not saying it’s fun. Jeff:See, he’s already back. PBG: Just go ahead and kill him again. Maybe he won’t- Double kill. Jeff: I’m just like too scared to even- Both in unison: Yeeeeeeesss! PBG: Please that be the last one. Jeff: Why do I gotta deal with so many wigglers? They don’t even do anything but waste your time because you have to jump on them four times. And then the moment you leave another one just happens to come out And reopens the door you just closed. PBG: And just look at him. He’s so Happy about it too. He knows exactly what he did! Jeff: So now we gotta go back down there, kill the guy again and close the door. PBG: Have these guys even played a mario game before? What kind of objective is running around a hotel and closing doors? Wanna explore a fantastical world? Wanna fight weird enemies and go on an adventure? Nope. Let’s go do none of those cool sounding things. Let’s just go from hotel to hotel closing doors. Jeff: Yeah, I mean who even came up with this and thought it was a good idea? Like we were gonna look back on our time playing hotel Mario together and be like: Oh… Remember that time we closed doors? That was fun… No? To its credit, the game does actually get pretty hard. Each of the later hotels has its own unique characteristics But the majority of the gameplay stays the same. In some instances, we were actually kinda invested in getting further. But mainly only to see the cutscenes. Most of the time it was like this: PBG: Okay. You gotta- Jeff:Oh my gosh, you have to like literally one by one go at them. PBG: He opened the door. Jeff:See that door- PBG: What?! No, I don’t wanna do it again. [Jeff laughs] PBG: Eventually, if you’re persistent enough You didn’t throw the game straight into the trashcan and rethink your entire life And embarrassingly cry in front of your friend. Don’t worry. He gets it. Then you’ll get to see one of the many boss levels in the game. Jeff: The only difference about these levels is that there’s only one enemy, the boss. But you still gotta close all those doors. PBG: Sometimes these guys can be total jerks like this first boss, Morton. He immediately spawns next to the only door that’s closed on the map. And if all the doors open on the map you lose, for some reason. So if you’re not paying attention for a second then you’re going to lose instantly. C’mon man! Jeff: It’s not like the lives or continues even matter though. We probably had to use a continue about ten different times. And it always just put us back on the same level we were on. So I guess we just essentially have infinite lives. And that’s probably because the developers knew that if we had to start over every time we got a game over We would have stopped by now. PBG: The strategy to fighting the bosses is it is at least a little different. Morton constantly chases you and respawns if you kill him. And he also reopens doors on his way to you. So… That’s a thing, I guess. Jeff: Oh no! Watch out, Mario! He’s coming for you! D-did he just? PBG: Yup. Both in unison: Aaahhhh! Jeff: After about 30 minutes, no joke, we finally beat the level and triggered the next cutscene. After you defeat Morton, he runs away, magic fruit grows on the tree. Don’t question it. Suddenly, Princess Peach was up in the same tree. Again, don’t question it. She then falls into the arms of another Koopa kid and gets whisked away. Luigi: How are we gonna find the Princess with the power going out? Mario: Maybe there’s a switch in one of the rooms. Remind me to check. NOOO! PBG: Wait So you’re saying we’ve gotta keep playing Hotel Mario? Jeff: Well yeah, man. I mean, don’t you want to see what happens? Don’t you want to know the Hotel Mario lore? PBG: Nope. Not really. Jeff: You got a really good point there. You know when I think about it, the only reason that anyone would probably play this game Is to see the ridiculous Cutscenes. And even just by watching them you might not even understand the context of the situation. Or understand them at all for that matter. Mario: Where am I? PBG: I don’t know. Mario: That oughta do it. Where did she go? Hey, you! Get off of my cloud! It’s been one of those days. Huh huh, here’s the problem. Too many toasters. You know what they say, all toasters toast toast. Jeff: What are you even talking about, Mario? Both in unison: We did it! Jeff: Hey everybody, thanks for watching [PBG: Hi!] the video. I hope you guys enjoyed it a lot. If you did, be sure to click the like button and subscribe. [PBG: Subscribe!] And all that and everything like that And if you guys didn’t already know we start a new series over on PBG gameplay. PBG: That’s me. That’s us [stammers] So yeah, if you didn’t know already Jeff’s been editing my gameplay channel PBG gameplay it for a good while now. About a year- Jeff: Yeah, just over a year like a year in a few months now. PBG: Yeah, it sounds about right. [Jeff: Yeah.] And we’ve been playing this for a long time, but we finally launched our new show, or we play games together. What’s it called, Jeff? Both in unison: PB and Jeff! [PB and Jeff Intro] Jeff: Woah! PBG: It is like we’re professional at this. Jeff: We don’t even do improv at all. This is all scripted. You can go watch the show over on PBG gameplay where we did a full, hour-long Hotel Mario episode just for your enjoyment. [whispers] Spoilers, he rages a little bit. That’s probably good, Yeah. Stop making that face. [Both laugh] Hey guys, welcome to the actual, actual end slate for this video. Big special thanks to Peanut Butter Gamer for helping me out with this video. And if you’re not already, you should subscribe and follow me on my social networks. They’re all in the description down below and on the screen right now. And if you just can’t wait for some more videos I got two more videos, for you right there. Sonic bootleg games and Hotel Mario PB&Jeff episode that goes on for literally an hour. So if you want to watch us be a little bit miserable while playing through the first world on Hotel Mario Go check it out! And as always. I’ll see you guys on the next episode. Catch you later!