So~ I’ve been thinking, Isn’t there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an… …alternative way to change souls, through… Redemption? Well, I think yes! So that’s what this project aims to achieve! Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the FIRST of its kind: a hotel that rehabilitates sinners! *cough* Y’know? ‘cuz hotels are for people passing through… Temporarily… *laughter* Is this girl for real? She thinks- she thinks- she- ha-ha! Oh, she’s nuts. I figure it would serve a purpose. A place to work towards redemption! Yaaay… Ksss. Stupid bitch. *grunt* Look, every single one of you has something good deep down inside. I know you do. Maybe I’m not getting through to you. Oh no. ♪ I have a dream I’m here to tell About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel Yes it’s one of a kind, right here in Hell Catering to a specific clientele (Ooooohh!) Inside of every demon is a rainbow, Inside every sinner is a shiny smile! Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac, Is a jolly, happy, cupcake-loving child We can turn around! They’ll be heaven-bound! With just a little time down at the Happy Hotel! So, all you junkies, freaks and weirdos Creepers, fuck-ups, crooks and zeroes, And the fallen super heroes, help is here All of you cretins, sluts and losers, Sexual deviants and boozers, and prescription drug abusers Need not fear While in our care We’ll cure your sin, we’ll make you well You’ll feel so swell, right here in Hell At the Happy Hotel~ There’ll be no more fire, And no more screams. Just puppy dog kisses, and cotton candy dreams And puffy-wuffy clouds You’re gonna be like, wow! Once you check in with meeeeeeeeeeee~ So, all your cartoon porn addictions, vegan rants, psychic predictions Ancient Roman crucifixions, end right here All you monsters, thieves and crazies, cannibals and crying babies Frothing mouth is full of rabies, filled with cheer You’ll be complete! It’ll be so neat! Our service can’t be beat! You’ll be on easy street! (Yes!) Life will be sweet, At the Happy HoteeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEELL~ ♪ Yeah! Wow! That was shit! [Music Instrumental Outro]