The hardest part about doing any TV show
is the contract negotiations. I don’t have to tell you guys. Um, I had some, uh,
tense deliberations with a new sponsor
the other night, so I brought along a camera crew
to give you an inside look. I call it– “BTS.” GRIFFIN:
Hope it’s not the same outfit. (sighs)
Hey, thanks for meeting me. Mm-hmm. Uh, why the clipboard? -These are my deal points.
-Oh. I googled something about it, so you’re not dealing
with an amateur. I see. So, are these chips free, or…? (laughs) I mean,
it’s a blood sugar thing. It’s also
a getting-comped thing. (laughs) Of course.
Take as many as you want. Ah. Well, you’re gonna regret
saying that. (laughs) I have a long drive home. I have a dog. So, um, here’s my vision. (clears throat) I’m looking
to sell the naming rights to the Lights Out studio. Now, listen,
this has never been done before. I’m thinking outside
the chalupa. I lot of people think appetizer.
I think entree. We do both, plus desserts. And some pretty sweet
margaritas. Well, the point is, there has
been plenty of interest -from all over,
as you can imagine. -Oh. There’s a gas station
on Laurel Canyon that doesn’t have a sign yet,
but they’ve been… nibbling. We’ve got a Serbian
dog-fighting website that is sniffing around. (sniffing)
‘Cause they’re dogs. They put in a bid, as well. Listen, you get
full naming rights– Chili, Chili, Chili– for the low, low price,
one day only– ten million dollars. -(clears throat)
-Mm. Counter offer. Free ribs for a week. Interesting. -Um, now I know where the high
and the low ends are. -Mm. Okay.
Let me sweeten the deal. You sign right now today, and I will give you
naming rights to my children. They go to big schools,
so that’s a lot of people. Well, we’re really only
interested in naming the stage. Really? Hey, uh, Jennifer
“Sizzling Fajitas” Spade, go to your room. Do your homework, Babyback Babyback,
Babyback Rick. -Mm.
-I got a million of those. -I can keep going.
-Yeah, that’s also -gonna have to be another “no.”
Yeah. -Okay, okay. Let’s talk perks. Does Chili’s have
a corporate jet? Very important. -Yes, yes.
-Oh. Okay, great. I’ll probably need only
about a thousand hours on that. No. Could I take an Instagram
picture in front of it? -Not a chance.
-Okay. (mutters)
Did that, did that. Last thing. I want full access
to the VIP room. I think you know
what I’m talking about. I definitely do not know
what you’re talking about. And we definitely
do not have a VIP room. They didn’t even tell you
about it? Ooh! Last time I was here,
I think I turned the… turned the pepper
and something… Uh-uh. Well, we are prepared to offer you the following
figure with the naming rights, to the Lights Out stage. I think you’ll find it
more than fair. (clears throat) (whispers):
Please. Is that barbecue sauce
or a comma? That’s barbecue sauce. Huh. That’s still pretty hefty.
(clears throat) Well… -you have a deal.
-You got a deal. Pleasure doing rib-ness. (both chuckle) Anyway, I got to get back
to the cat. Do they have a, uh,
they validate here?