(rooster clucking) (lion roars) (wheel tics) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. – 10 Word Story. Why don’t you start this one? And pay attention to the people who are counting for us. (Rhett laughs) – Questionably. – Walter. – Slowly. – Peeled. – His. – Teeny. – Naked. (Rhett and Link laugh) – Slippery. – Okay.
(Rhett laughs) Talented. – Orange. – Questionably, Walter slowly peeled his teeny naked slippery talented orange. – How you peel a naked orange? – You peel it again. – Oh, you peel it again.
(Rhett gasps) – You peel the skin under the skin. – Welcome Emily. – Hi. – We tell the slowest 10 word stories. – Yeah, we do. Cause we try to make them into something. Scoot on in if you want to be all the way in the show. – Yeah, oh thanks. – How you’ve been? – How I been? I’ve been good. – You ever work at a hotel? – No, that’s one of the jobs, the only jobs I have not had. – Oh really? – Yeah. – You ever cleaned up after
people in another capacity? – Well, yeah, I think that when you’ve work in the
service industry in general, you end up dealing with that. I have had a very, I’ll tell– – You talking about waiting tables? – Waiting tables and I
worked in men’s clothing. – You worked inside men’s clothing? – Yes inside, well, I worked in a men’s clothing store and somebody returned a pair of shorts, and I don’t usually care when people return stuff–
– What’s the store? – I don’t care. Jack Spade, it was the men’s version of Kate Spade, and they are no longer with us. – When they return shorts, what? – I am not related to that at all, what? So somebody returned some shorts, and I didn’t check them
to make sure they were… In good condition, – Oh no.
– Brown streak? – No, they had a different stain on them. – No, oh gosh! – Yeah, and I just threw them in a closet. – In a closet? I just kinda went bleh– – Put them in the closet
where those kind of shorts go. – That’s above my pay grade, I’m not doing that. – So how’s this gonna work? – Okay, so I’m gonna read
some reviews from Yelp, of either a five-star
hotel, or a budget hotel. And you tell me if it’s
budget or five-star. – We know it’s a horrible
review, probably. – I don’t know. – Alright, let’s see. – Okay, cool. First one is from Kristin S. “This hotel is old and outdated, “I don’t understand why
people still come here. “Also, I found a huge
pubic hair in the bathtub. “Also, the beds look like
people were sitting on them, “like not really made up correctly. “When I called the front desk, “all they could say was,
they’d make a note of it.” – We’d make a note of
the butt impressions– – Yeah, we’ll make a
note of that, yeah right. – Oh gosh. – Kristin S., who has left
52 Yelp reviews I see. – [Emily] Oh lord. – [Rhett] I think this is a– – [Link] Is this a
blurred image of a pube? Is that what I’m looking at? – [Rhett] Yeah. That is a blurred pube. – Why are you so excited Zack? (Rhett laughs loudly) – Did you blur it? Oh, you blurred it. – He spent so much time
blurring that pube. (Emily laughs) – [Zack] There’s like different shades and stuff we were trying. – Oh really? – It’s so thick. It’s such a thick blur. – When you blur a pube
it looks like a turd. That’s what I learned today. – It really does. – I think this is a five-star hotel because this sounds like
someone who is disappointed with higher expectations.
– They got high standards. – Shoot. Yeah, I agree with you. This is a nice hotel. – It is, you’re correct. This is the Bellagio in Las Vegas, Nevada. – Is that a nice hotel? – Of course there’s pubes around. – I’ve heard of it, is there a big old
fountain in front of it? – Fountains, there’s– – When there’s a fountain,
you know that stuff is… – Oh they’re working it.
– That’s fancy. – They put a lot of
money into the fountain. – Yeah, we’re in a drought! Well, not anymore. Alright, so next is Joe S. He says “I have been here for 5 days “and my room has not been
cleaned for the past 2 days. “The manager has given me his apology “and a $75 credit. “I then realized that
when you book online, “they give you an average
and charge you more. “I’m looking into other options. “FYI this hotel is old, and rundown, “with a fresh coat of paint.” – Well, fresh coat of
paint got them a star, huh? – Yeah. – You put zero stars? – Well, you can’t do zero stars on Yelp. One is the lowest you can do. – Ah. I’m gonna say this is a cheap hotel. – I mean, they’re not
coming around for days? – Yeah, definitely cheap. If you’re missing cleanings, you’re cheap. Budget, budget, budget. – This is a five-star hotel. – No! – Yeah. The Royal Palm South Beach, in Miami, Florida. But, Miami is like the
budget city of cities, so it’s kind of like, well. What cha gonna do? – No pubes though. – Shout out to Miami. – Yeah! (Rhett laughs) – That’s where Dexter is set. Coincidence? I don’t know. (cameraman laughs) – Let’s see. Ray L. On Yelp says, “Fleas and bedbugs everywhere! “I told the staff about this
and they got me a new room, “a new disgusting room
with even more bedbugs. “I had to buy insecticide myself, “but it didn’t work well “because they were just too many of them. “I got bit all over the
body and it is just painful. “The stay here, I would say, “is the worst thing that
ever happened in my life.” – Bedbugs follow you home and you have to strip
everything out of your house! – They don’t always… usually it has to do with… Okay, am I gonna give you a bedbug story? – Yep. – Looks like it.
– Sounds like it. So, it’s usually somewhere
in the building it started, and then it gets to you. You’re not gonna sit
in a movie theater seat and then bring them home. – They gotta get in somewhere. – My friend had them because
a neighbor below them, it turned into a thing and then just, took over the whole building. – But I thought you could bring it home in your suitcase from a hotel. – You can. – You can, but you’re probably
gonna notice it pretty quick and deal with it. But once it’s a full-blown infestation. You gotta move. – I think Ray L. stayed at a budget hotel. I’m just looking at that
picture on the right, they got the bed just– – It’s a mattress up against a wall. – Just up against the wall,
there’s no end tables, that’s budget. – That’s a crappy hotel. – It is a one-star hotel. Bowery Grand hotel in New York, New York. – In the Bowery. Deep in the bowery. – I think I may have stayed there. Alright, so next is syedk28 on TripAdvisor says, “The room is not clean
after I report the roches “in my room–
– [Rhett] Oh they got roches. – “No one call and say
when I left the hotel, “No one ask or say sorry “I took one of the best room on you hotel “and you guys treat me like that thanks.” – Haphazardly delivered review. Either that or you’re bad at reading. – That’s entirely possible,
I did go to public school. – Roches, huh. – Well for elementary school, then I went to private. – You’ve done it all. – I’ve done it all. – You’ve waited tables, and you’ve thrown shorts in closets. (Emily laughs)
– I’ve lived a full life. – But he did give it two
stars, he gave it two stars. That’s why I think it’s a good hotel. I think this is a haphazard,
angry drunken review. Where you’re just on the toilet going, I’ll show you! – I don’t even know what happened. I don’t understand. I know roaches. – Well there were roches
and no one call and say when I left the hotel. – I’ll say fancy hotel.
– No one ask or say sorry. – Fancy hotel. – I’m going with budget. – Five-star hotel. – The Ritz-Carlton in
Palm Springs, California! That’s like the nicest! – I’m not staying there. – The Ritz-Carlton’s got roches? – It’s got roches (laughs). Those are fancy roaches. – We only have roches at the Ritz-Carlton. – They all have a little tiara on. Alright, Gilberto R. on TripAdvisor, “This place ripped me off. “They kept my deposit “and lied saying I had trashed the room. “On the contrary I left it neat. “I seriously regret staying here. “The staff is rude
including the security guard “who all need some trainings
in customer service.” Pew pew! – Security guard.
– There’s a security guard– – That could mean either
it’s a really nice hotel, or a really bad hotel. – Cause a security guard… – But this person is
clearly lying, number one. How are all the bad things not your fault? – Right, yeah. You know what I mean? at least some of the bad
things are your fault. – When you’re the common denominator. – They say that I trash it but I didn’t, and the security guards
thought I was questionable. – Left in the trashy hotel. – I’m going with a one– – Low-budget. – Oh, okay I’ll switch it up just to see if I can tie it up. I’m going with five-star. – Okay. It’s a one-star hotel. – I’ve lost. It’s over. – The Travelers Inn in Phoenix, Arizona. Definitely a– – Traveler’s in, traveler’s out! (Emily laughs) – Alright, final one. Sarah P., maybe Palin, maybe
not, on TripAdvisor said, – Probably.
– Probably. – Odds are, yes. – (Emily laughing) Odds are yes. “The man who seems to be in charge “of breakfast is incredibly
rude to the customers “and the staff. “He yelled at a girl who was very sweet “and helpful to us for 5 minutes straight. “Very uncomfortable. “Other than that, great hotel.” (cameraman laughs) – Okay, so there’s a guy
in charge of breakfast? – He’s Mr. Breakfast. – Yelled at a girl. There’s
nothing like waking up to seeing a guy yell at a girl. Over your continental muffin. – I think this is a fancy hotel because you got somebody
in charge of breakfast!? That’s my job. I’m in charge of breakfast. That means you got a big budget, that’s a five-star hotel. – Who’s in charge of breakfast here? I can do it. I can be in charge of
shorts and breakfast. – You’re now in charge of breakfast. – This is not a hotel. – Okay, what was your answer Link? Or are you guys gonna agree? – The correct one. – You can’t lose at this point. – It’s a one-star hotel. – I said fancy. – But it is in Paris, France. – They have different standards. – Hotel… I’m not
French, I’m not gonna try. – I’m not even gonna try. – I’m not gonna try. Marignan? – I’m in charge of
breakfast at the Marignan. – You try to say that. – I’m rude. – Marignan! – Hotel Marignan. – Just a bunch of hillbillies.
– Marignan. – Trying to read French. – Marignan. – Alright, now I’m even
further freaked out. I can’t travel. I can’t do it. Not going anywhere. – I’m traveling for my birthday, I’m going to the Larry Flynt casino. – Good for you, take a lot of pictures. – There’s a $75 motel
right across the street. – Okay, bring your own pillow. – Yes sir. – [Rhett] Heading outside? Cover your melon with
these hats we’re selling. Three different styles to chose from now at Mythical.store.