Brett Kavanaugh… Supreme Court nominee and world’s angriest
calendar enthusiast. (laughter) In addition to the sexual
assault claims against him, people are zeroing in
on another reason Kavanaugh may not be fit
for the Supreme Court, and that is honesty. Along with a complexion
that looks good in black, honesty is one of the things you most want
in a Supreme Court justice. And there are
more and more signs that Kavanaugh
might not have enough of it, especially when it comes
to his history with drinking. Because Kavanaugh
may make it seem like he’s had a casual
relationship with alcohol, but it turns out the two of them were probably more
than just friends. Kavanaugh has acknowledged
sometimes drinking too much as a young man, but former
classmates of Kavanaugh’s are saying that
he’s being misleading about how much
he drank back then, and his belligerence
when he did. TV REPORTER: A Yale college
classmate of Kavanaugh’s, Charles “Chad” Ludington, said
Kavanaugh tried to deceive the Senate by downplaying
his drinking habits. Ludington says
on multiple occasions he saw Kavanaugh staggering
from alcohol consumption. Charles Ludington, who went
to Yale with Brett Kavanaugh, says that on one last occasion, “I purposely socialized
with Brett, “I witnessed him respond to
a semi-hostile remark, “not by defusing the situation, “but by throwing beer
in the man’s face, “and starting a fight
that ended with one of our mutual friends
in jail.” Damn. Kavanaugh might not be fit
to serve on the Supreme Court, but I think we should nominate
him to serve on the next season
of Jersey Shore. He sounds right. Because this story
is pretty wild, right? It turns out, in 1985, Kavanaugh
and his friends got into a bar fight that got so rowdy
the police got called in, and the police filed
an official report. And here’s the thing, it’s one
thing to get into a fight, it’s another thing
to get into a fight where the cops are called,
and on top of that, a fight where the cops
are called on a white guy. Do you know how bad
a fight has to be for the police to get called
on a white guy? (cheers and applause) At… At an Ivy League school
in the ’80s. That was, like,
rich white male heyday. I mean, every decade is, but that one
was extra good for them. And, personally,
I would never want to see Brett Kavanaugh
get into a fight, ’cause you know it would be
super weird. It would be like, “Hey, bro,
you want to throw down? (crying):
“Because I swear I’ll start… (laughter) “I swear I’ll start–
you know what, I just– “I just need to write it
in my calendar first. (laughter, applause) “September 25th. “September 25th, throw drink
in dude’s face at the bar. “Now it’s official.
It’s in my calendar. I had peace.” So it turns out Brett Kavanaugh,
Mr. “I like beer,” Mr. “I might have exceeded
the legal limit a little bit,” allegedly, got into a bar brawl where he hit someone in the face
with his drink. Oh, and the reason Kavanaugh
was fighting is probably one of the greatest
stories of all time. TV REPORTER: Ludington telling
The New York Times, he witnessed Kavanaugh getting
into a bar brawl after a UB40 concert. TV REPORTER:
They saw someone they thought was the band’s lead singer. The man said he wasn’t
and told the three of them to stop looking at him. Kavanaugh, apparently,
became belligerent. Brett, um, said,
uh, (bleep) you, uh, or something to that effect, and, um, threw the, uh, ice
at the guy. Uh, and, um, the guy,
understandably, even though he had been
aggressive in his response, uh, found that was a little
one step too far, so he, uh,
took a swing at Brett. At that point, uh, Chris Dudley,
who had his drink in his hand, um, proceeded to, uh, smash it
up against the guy’s head. Okay. Now, if you’re lost, it’s probably because
you’re not drunk. Because, you see,
this has gone from a stock standard
Supreme Court hearing to a wild 1985 story where a
future Supreme Court nominee and his friend, Dudley,
a future NBA player, got in a fight with some guy
because they thought he looked like the lead singer
of the reggae band UB40. Yeah. Right now,
the story’s so weird, you can make up any detail
and it would be believable. You could be like, “And then
Kavanaugh punched the horse and that horse went on to become
the ruler of Iran.” You don’t know if it’s fake. And by the way, I also feel bad for the lead singer of UB40,
right? Because everyone covering
the story just keeps referring to him as the lead singer
of UB40. He has a name, you know? It’s UB,
I’m pretty sure, like… There’s a name. (cheers and applause) And now… Now, here’s the thing… Here’s the thing, if you’re throwing a drink
in someone’s face because they’re not
the lead singer of UB40, you’re either someone
who drank a shit ton or you’re just a crazy person. It’s one or the other. And again, him raging as a young
man doesn’t disqualifying him from serving on
the Supreme Court, right? But Brett Kavanaugh lying
about it to the Senate is what should be of concern. And for more on this, and the legal ramifications
of all of it, we turn to a man who has been
represented by many lawyers. Michael Kosta, everyone. (cheers and applause) -Michael…
-(mouthing) On the one hand,
on the one hand, you have Brett Kavanaugh, who says that sometimes
he had too many beers. But on the other hand,
you have all these witnesses who say that he was
a belligerent drunk who drank way too much. What do you make of this? Well, Trevor,
this term “too much” gets thrown around too much. I-It’s all a matter
of perspective. If a dad posts ten pictures
of his kid on Facebook, that’s considered normal. But if I post ten pictures
of his kid, suddenly it’s too much
and I have to leave the park. It’s the same
with Brett Kavanaugh’s drinking. Okay, but as
a Supreme Court nominee, Kavanaugh has a duty
to be honest, and it seemed to me
that he was a bit disingenuous about what kind
of a drinker he was. (chuckles): Trevor,
I want to say this kindly because you’re my boss,
but what a dumbass thing to say. You can’t accuse Brett Kavanaugh
of hiding the truth because if he was as drunk
as everyone says he was, then we can’t expect him
to remember what happened. Because sober Brett
can’t remember the things drunk Brett did. They meet briefly
around beer number five, they shake hands,
and they go their separate ways. (laughter) -So…
-Thank you. You get it. So you’re saying… you’re saying, then,
that we can’t ask him questions about things that he
was too drunk to remember? See, now you’re getting it. We can’t hold Bruce Banner
accountable for fights started by the Hulk,
you know what I mean? One is a mild-mannered,
middle-aged white guy, and the other is
an aggressive person of color. I-If Congress
put Bruce Banner under oath and asked him, “Dr. Banner,
have you ever smashed anything?” he’d have no idea. Because Bruce Banner
doesn’t smash. Hulk smash. Okay, but-but… but sober or drunk,
under the law, Brett Kavanaugh would be held
accountable for anything he did. And he’ll change that as soon
as he gets to the Supreme Court. But in the meantime,
why the hell is sober Kavanaugh being asked
about what drunk Kavanaugh did? The guy who should be
on the stand is the guy who picks a fight
with a mop for not being Ziggy Marley. -Wait, wait, wait, wait,
you’re not suggesting… -Yes! Let’s get Kavanaugh shit-faced. Roll-roll in a keg
of Natty Light… (cheering and applause) Roll in a keg of Natty Light,
have Feinstein tap that thing, and let Bretty go to town. And I guarantee you the truth
will flow right out of him. A sober guy is embarrassed about what he did
when he drank too much, but a drunk guy
can’t wait to tell you all the trouble he got into. That is, uh… (cheering and applause) That’s-that’s actually… that’s actually
a pretty amazing idea, Kosta. No, no, no, no, no.
Don’t give Kosta the credit. Give drunk Mikey the credit. Wait, wait, wait, are you…
are you drunk? Have you been drinking at work? Well, why don’t you
ask me tomorrow? I promise I won’t lie. Drunk Michael Kosta, everyone.