>>This episode is brought
to you by Skillshare.>>Yeah, head on over to Skill-sh– sh-d… I’m going to get it.
>>Almost!>>slash MODERNROGUE4 First 500 of you guys get two months free. Skill, sh-sh skill, skill, shers?>>It’s right here, let them try.>>Skill, skill, shers?
>>You guys try.>>Worst bar etiquette
moment you’ve had, go.>>I got kicked out of a bar
for quoting Anchorman too much.>>Had they not seen Anchorman?>>No!>>Brian: Did they just
think you were that guy?>>No, and so when I said,
“I’m going to punch you” “right in the uterus,”
it was taken as a threat.>>Oh! Okay, that’s important. What about you?>>Ah, I threw up on a bouncer’s shoes.>>Like, on purpose?>>No.>>Is that a super skill you have?>>He’s like accurate too.>>He’s like Brundle Fly. [laughs]>>Jason: Ohh! Augh, did the bouncers just dissolve?>>He just dissolved down into nothing!>>And just starts screaming. And then you [makes slurping sound].>>Ah, oh god, oh god! [laughter] ♪ [chill beat] ♪>>robot voice: Etiquette
for ordering at a bar.>>So, we’re back again
at the Parker Jazz Club hanging out with Trever,
and I did not realize this, but I guess there’s a whole
bunch of unwritten rules. I’ve never worked behind a bar so I don’t know what it’s like, but I know what it’s like to be on the other side of the bar, and really hope to get service quickly.>>I’m always afraid that I will offend the bartender, or that I’m being a jerk. And so, I’m like, is this
the appropriate thing to do? Is this thing that
I’ve been doing for 20 years going to upset someone?>>I mean, there’s not
a whole lot that you have to do to get the
bartender’s attention. There’s not a whole lot you have to do to get your drink, but
I’m going to tell you there are five things you should never do.>>This is great. This is like the reverse Modern Rogue.>>The modern chooch.>>Because, I’m a modern chooch! [echoing] [laughter]>>I love how desperate
and sad you sounded! Just like…
[laughter]>>And the acoustics.>>Someone help me!>>Oh god! [turntable hiss] [crowded bar noise]
>>Well, here I am, a real bartender with my spirit animal on my shoulder. I wonder if there’ll be any patrons today.>>Jason: Yo, bro, bro! [Brian’s stifled laughter] Bro, bro! Dude. [laughter]
Bro. Bro. Hey!
[whistles] Bro! Bro, hey bro! Yo, can I get a drink? Bro. Yo.
[snaps fingers] Hey man, yo!>>I’m going to wait until he says boss.>>Bro. [laughs] Hey bro? Bro. What’s up bro? What’s up? [laughter] What’s up bro? ♪ [muffled chill music] ♪ [whistles]
Yo!
[slaps table] [money impotently rustling] [bursting out in laughter] Bro, bro, bro. [laughter]>>Sorry, can I help you sir?>>Hey boss! [loud laughter]>>All right, so I’m going to say that the thing’s I’m supposed to learn is don’t be overly familiar
with the bartender, don’t flash your money. What are you supposed to do instead?>>I do think we have
someone that can show a better example of what
you’re supposed to do.
>>Brian: Yes. Magically summon… Anthony!>>Put that away, we don’t– [laughter]>>Hi, I’m a legitimate bartender. What can I do for you?>>Hey man, how’s your night going so far?>>You know what? I’m disarmed by your
honest interest in my day. Why, thank you, it’s going quite well. What can I get for you sir?>>Awesome. I’ll take a Guinness.>>Well, you have my full attention. [scaling in tone]
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. I bartended. [laughter] [turntable hiss]>>♪ I’m a super legitimate
bartender, polishing– ♪>>What’s up bro?>>Hey, what can I do for you?>>Yeah, what do you got on tap? What do you got on draft?>>This is a legitimate bar and
I am a legitimate bartender.>>Well, what legitimate beers
do you have on draft, weirdo?>>Ahh, well. [laughs] We’ve got Guinness, and
Abita, and Buckethead, and Mosaic, and the other one.>>What whiskeys do you have?>>I mean, there’s the
Redbreast and the Chivas and the Dalmore, and the Balvenie, and the McAllister,
and the Buffalo Trace, and…>>See how much time this
is taking out of your day?>>Yes. No, you’re right! All of a sudden I feel it. Because, like, I’m in the
moment and I’m just like, [bottles clink]
“This motherf— is going to
make me read all of this s— to him.” That’s the dumbest crap ever!>>Jason: All right, fine. [laughter] Oh, I see now, okay. [uproarious laughter]>>So, I guess the lesson
is don’t waste their time. Don’t make them ask for a bunch of stuff.>>Trever: No. If they have a lot of whiskeys and scotch, it’s fine to ask, “Do you have a list?” Yeah, I will gladly give you a list. If you ask for one to be
suggested, I can suggest one. But if they are prominently
displayed behind me, just look.>>So, I got a question. This might be a crime that
I commit on the regular. I say dealer’s choice when
it comes to a lot of stuff. Is that good or bad?>>No, no, I have no problem
with people wanting me to show them my favorite spirit,
particularly with whiskey.>>Brian: Right.>>Because I would either like to show a new one, or a favorite. Also, same thing when it comes to drinks. If someone says,
“I don’t know what I want.” “Make me something.” Ah, that’s carte blanche! I can do anything I want? I would love that.>>See, I would almost think
that that’s a problem because that’s too much wide open
space to run around in. Like, I feel like I’m
doing them a favor if I say, “I want an IPA, your choice
as to what IPA I should try.” And then I make sure to
ask, so that I’m registering the value of their choice.>>If the bartender
feels stress from that, that’s their fault.>>Brian: Okay.>>Anthony: How’s it going man? Can I get your favorite 12 year scotch?>>Oh, man, I’ll tell you
what’s great is the Redbreast. That’s the Dalmore, right?>>Trever: You missed it, it’s over there.>>Here it is, it’s great, I did good.>>Yes, that’s it.>>I’m a legitimate bartender. [turntable hiss]>>Yeah, no, look I’m sorry Trever. You didn’t tell me that being
a bartender would be so busy.>>Bro!
>>I got a lot of stuff to do. I’m sorry sir, I’m very busy, but I’ll be happy to take your order. What’s your order sir? ♪ [loud muffled music] ♪
>>Yo, boys! Yeah! What’s up? [speaking loud over bar noise]
Rumple Minze? Old fash– Old fashion. Rumple Minze. Screwd–screwdriver.>>Jason: Can you even drink that? That’s like paint thinner! Okay so, screwdriver, but
with the vodka from Poland, potato vodka, none of the other stuff. What? Okay nevermind
then, old fashion, bro. [Brian laughs] [Jason yelling back]
Two old-fashions‽ [bottles clink]
Two old-fashions, a martini
in a f— martini glass, man. Not in, like, a Solo cup, or whatever. And, what? Okay, no, Solo cup’s fine. And, wait, what was? Okay, yeah, two
old-fashions, a screwdriver, a martini in a Solo cup, and… [brian chortles]
six b– six bellinis. [wheezy laughter]
>>Jason: Six bellinis. [through laughter]
>>I’m sorry, what’s a bellini?>>It’s a real drink.>>Okay. [laughs] The vindication that Jason
feels for it being a real drink!>>Jason: I didn’t make it up. I wouldn’t do something like that.>>So, I’m going to guess
that the lesson here is know your freaking order.>>👏 Have your 👏 order 👏 ready. There’s nothing more
infuriating than, yes, we are busy, and yes, I
am trying to get to you. But, if you come up to me and then, suddenly don’t know what you want, and you’re ordering for seven people that aren’t with you, one, I need IDs for all those drinks. Two, I can only serve so many drinks to one person at one time.>>Don’t show up with a laundry list. You may think you’re doing a favor for everybody there, but your job is not to be a cocktail waitress. Your job is to show up,
and if you’re at the bar, you are here for a drink for
you and maybe one other person.>>And even if it is a large order, I’m willing to take it,
but just please know, have it in order and have it ready.>>No, but seriously though. Look how well-polished
this plastic bottle is. This is a very, I’m a very good bartender. [diagetic bar noise returns] Ah, sir, we’re very busy,
but what can I do for you?>>Yeah, can I get two screwdrivers, an old-fashioned, and a bellini?>>Yes, I can do that. Because that is a specific list of things you asked me for,
me, a legitimate bartender. [laughter] [turntable hiss]>>Just one competent
bartender hanging out at a bar, twirling a cucumber.>>Bro!>>Yes?
>>Bro, what’s up?>>What, yes, may I help you?>>Yeah ah, I want a Manhattan, bro.>>Brian: Uh, okay.>>What do you guys put in your Manhattans?>>Two-one-two, sir. We do rye whiskey, two ounces, one ounce sweet vermouth, and two dashes of bitters.>>Oh… okay.
>>The way god intended.>>Jason: Yeah.>>God is a channel
called the Modern Rogue.>>You know, over at… [sigh]>>When I make it at home,
I usually use scotch. Why do you…?
Rye whiskey, eh I don’t know. And over at the other bar,
yeah they do it a lot better. They actually use like good scotch over there, instead of some, just like, rye whiskey.>>Okay, so here’s my problem with that. Just because that’s how
he makes it at home, that’s how he makes it at home. And the bar down the street, they could be making it differently too. He also mentioned scotch
which isn’t a Manhattan. That would be a Rob Roy. But if he would like his drink to be changed up, I can do that. I don’t have a problem with that. But, just understand that
when bars have their drinks, they have a proper way of making them, and they have a standard
way of making them.>>So, in other words, it’s okay to ask for a substitution, but don’t act like the way somebody else does it is the default, normal, or superior way.>>Right, because when
it comes to cocktails, there are several different ways that you can change them
up, modify them, however. But bars are going to make their drinks the way that they feel
they’re best properly served. And, really, you should be a gentleman about it when you ask.>>How’s it going?>>I’m fine, I’m just… spinning
a cucumber as one does.>>Cool, can I get a Manhattan with some extra sweet vermouth in there?>>Extra sweet vermouth? You think you can change
our recipe, well guess what? I’m happy to do that for you because I’m a legitimate bartender.
[bottles clang] [snickering] [numerous bottles clink]
[laughter] [turntable hiss] [optimistic music resonates in the room,
diagetic bar chatter resumes]>>Yo, man. What’s up bro? [tapping] Ah, hey, what you got that’s gluten free?>>I got this. Everything is gluten free. All spirits are gluten free. [metal clinks on glass]>>Yo, you can’t talk
to me like that, bro. I know the owner, we’re like–
yeah he’s like a buddy of mine. [metal clinks on glass] [laughter]>>I’ll handle this one, as well.
[laughter] I know the owner too,
he cuts my paychecks. This is something that annoys the ever-living hell out of every bartender.
>>Brian: How often does this actually happen?>>A lot, and the funny
thing is, a lot of times, when they walk in, they don’t
even know the owner’s name. They just act like it. They might be Facebook friends.
>>Jason: [struggling] It’s… shhh… Sham?
>>What’s his name? What’s the owner’s name?
>>Sh–Sham?>>See, he doesn’t even know.
>>Sham Berkland.>>He doesn’t even know.
>>>Brian and Jason: Sham Berkland.>>Is the owner of this bar. And we’re close, personal friends.>>Brian: I’m sorry. And where did Sham Berklin go to college?>>[stammering] Janamen… Janimon State.
[laughter] In Ohio.
>>Right.>>We went there together.
>>And he of course, played…>>Front guard in the hoop ball. [laughter] He was front guard on the
team for Janimon State, the Janimon State Warriors. Sham… Ber-kle-mon.
>>Yeah, this is exactly what happens every time that someone
says, “I know the owner.”>>His name is Sham!
All right? [laughter]>>Now, I have no problem
with people coming in and saying they know the
owner, because when an owner has a bar, he’s going
to have lots of friends.>>Of course, of course.>>The owner here, he has
a lot of musician friends that come in, that are coming to see him, they’re coming here to see his music. I will gladly serve you if
you’re the owner’s friend. Even if you’re not the owner’s friend.>>Brian: Well, and plus
also, if you’re actually the owner’s friend, my guess is you don’t call him “the owner.” You probably know his first and last name.>>Sham!
>>And maybe where his kids go to school.>>Jason: Sham Berkland-man. Berkle-berkle.>>The Warriors huh?>>Yep! The Janimon State
Warriors’ front guard!>>Sup, bro?>>How’s it going?
Ah, can I get an old-fashioned?>>Yeah, of course.>>Is Sham in tonight,
he’s an old friend of mine? [incredulous]
>>Wait, Sham is the owner of this bar! I didn’t know that you knew him?>>Yeah, I didn’t even know that
Sham was the owner of the bar.>>How do you know Sham?
>>Sham Berkle!>>We met back at uh, Straummenoff State.
>>Jason: Of the Georgia,
of the Georgia Berklemans.>>Trever: Oh, turn–yeah, did you just…? [stifled laughter] [laughter re-surging]>>Sham is not going to like that. [laughter]>>Trever: Oh my god. [laughter]>>Sham is going to have your ass.>>Trever: Trever’s
going to have your ass. [loud laughter] [turntable hiss]>>All right, so we’ve covered five don’ts, including this image, when
it comes to getting service. But, once you’ve got service,
what’s the right way to tip?>>It’s different in each
country, quite honestly. I was just in Europe, and some people were almost offended if I tipped them. Here in America though, a lot of us, we’re not making hourly.>>Yeah.>>So we do depend on the tips. We’re just looking for 20 percent. And if you walk your tab,
it’s going to be 20 percent. If we give you good service, 25 percent maybe? But a dollar a drink, a dollar a shot, something that simple, it’s not that hard.>>Right on.>>All right, so what you’re
telling me is I can’t wave around money and try
to get your attention. I need to know exactly what I want. Don’t walk up and say, “What
do you have on draft?” when it’s right there in front of you. Don’t try to correct the bartender and tell him exactly how you would do it. Don’t brag about knowing the owner and try to get special favors or whatever. And tip! Tip 20 percent. Or a dollar per drink is fair, fine. [background noise cuts out]
>>♪ Doodle doot doo doo, doodle doodle doo! ♪ ♪ I’m a legitimate bartender. ♪>>And if you see this, you
turn around and walk away. Find another bar. [laughter] Don’t go to one of those
cucumber ocarina bars. [laughs]>>The Cucumber Ocarina would
be a great name for a bar! Are you kidding me‽ That would be amazing!>>Aren’t they performing next week?
[laughter]>>That should be the name of the bar out at the Modern Rogue HQ.>>And it only plays the Popeye theme. ♪ Doodle doot do do do ♪ ♪ Do do doodle do do doot! ♪ ♪ fff, fff ♪ [laughter]>>Trever: Do you have a Link where
they can all find that?>>You just blew cucumber
chunks all over Anthony.>>That’s a great ending.>>Anthony: Yeah.>>You still believe that the
internet is a dumpster fire?>>Yeah.>>A bath tub of flaming poo,
is that what you called it?>>Careening down the
mountain towards your family.>>Walk me through this, justify this.>>Okay, it’s kind of like Fury Road.>>Yeah, okay.>>But it’s up at the top of the mountain. It’s filled full of poop. Poop is mostly harvested
from comments sections.>>Okay.>>It runs on rage and feces!>>And just, like what? Pewdiepie’s the doof warrior,
up front?>>Just like, rocking out,
flinging crap everywhere with his big pinwheeling
arms, and then bam! It hits your family, poop’s everywhere, and nobody learned a damn thing!>>The last part is the
most important part. It’s very hard, if I’m
understanding you correctly, to find high quality
instructional tutorials of people at the top
of their artistic game.>>It was obviously the
point of the metaphor.>>It sounded to me like
what you really want is access to 25,000 tutorials. To join seven million other creators as you better yourself with everything from how to learn
cinematography, Photoshop, or photo edit, or edit photos. I’m just going to do everything
that’s photo related.>>Business, social media, calligraphy.>>Okay, that too. No dumpster fires anywhere when you go to our friends at Skillshare.>>Yeah.>>SKL.SH/MODERNROGUE4 The first 500 people who
sign up get two months free. You get to learn as much as you want. Unlimited access, dude.>>And it’s less that $10 a month. All of this is curated,
so you’re not going to stumble across, “Oh, this
is good for me to learn,” “and, oh! I’m standing in
a bathtub full of dumpster,” “and now it’s hurtling
down the mountain towards” “someone else’s family.”>>SKL.SH/MODERNROGUE4 Make us look good,
improve yourself, and get two months free if you’re
one of the first 500. You got to hurry, hustle,
hustle, run, fly you fools. Dodge the poop tub. — CC BY REV —
* MODIFIED BY BIZARRE MAGIC *
[soft music and radio static]>>Yo, bro, bro, bro! Bro, dude, bro, bro, hey! [whistles] Bro, bro, hey bro, yo can I get a drink? Bro, yo, hey man, yo.