We don’t know what to do, so you need to explain everything to us. Huh? You need to explain what to do. We don’t know what to do. Shot! We want to play a game. This one. Uh, One game, two players, three rounds, five throws. Yeah, yeah. That’s two hundred total, right? Not per person. Small axe. Small? This only for small axe? What if we want to upgrade to this big one? 300 baht? What, what you wanna do? Two person. Do big one. Okay, we do the big one. Yeah. Big one. Yeah, big one. Need two thousand. Two thousand what? What’s two thousand? Huh? What, two thousand, what? This one, right? Two hundred. Two hundred baht. Yeah. And the big, three hundred baht. Okay, we play with the play with the big one. Okay? Big one? Yep.
Yeah. Ah, if you winner you pay one ah, one game for one person or two person, two, two players, you will give three hundred baht. Same. Yes, okay. We play together. We will here, only?
Yes. And with you? Yes, yes, we play together. Me and my friend.
Yeah. Okay. So what’s the rules? Like we get points for the bullseye and the red thing.
In Las Vegas now, they do this with shovels. I don’t know how they’re throwing the shovels but I saw in Las Vegas they’re advertising shovel throwing along with the axes. How does the shovels stick? It’s into the wood again?
They sharpen it, they sharpen it like the axes.
Oh, really. Two times. She did it twice. Okay. Apparently in Las Vegas you can play this with shovels. Right. What are the rules? How do we get points? Eh, the bullseye is the green circle, right? Green, ah, five. Five, for the bullseye. Around red. Three. Red three. Blue, one. Blue one. Around, no have points. No have points. Green colour in the, um, wooden. Uh huh.
Seven point. Seven points for what? He’s done that before, aint he? Green colour? Oh these ones are seven points? Ah, okay. One handed or two? What happens. You call if you’re going for that one I think. What happens if you hit it but it bounces off? It has to stick, right?
It has to stick. Gotta stick, right? And you use two hands? I dunno how you did that way. Oh, I see. You can use one. So the girl’s using two hands and the fella, he’s using one hand. In a easy control. Oh, easy control is it? Ah, okay. Maybe I’ll start with two hands. Have any more power, same same him. Ah, okay. One hand. Well, he’s a lot bigger than me so I dunno if I’ve got that much power. I’ll give it a go though. Okay, we’ll start off two handed I guess, right? And then? No because, it’s this one, right? Yeah. 300 for that one. Yeah, I’m talking about throwing it. Two handed. Oh right, I thought you meant two hundred. Yeah, yeah, sound.
Over the head. Right, so should we just start or what? Do we get a scorecard like this or what? Oh yeah, look. That’s the scorecard. Oh she’s taking, she’s taking the score, right? Look, she’s taking the score for them. Are you referee? You’re taking the score for us, right? Yeah, yeah, I will come and take score.
Ah, good. Ah, very good.
If you want. Good. You have an a, you want have an a scorecard I will give you. You have one of the fireman’s axe or no? Fireman’s axe. They have the big one. The big one where you two hand. Back to here. Oh, no, no have. In the other location they have the big axe. Oh yeah.
The big fireman’s axe. I was thinking about going to the other location. It’s just so far away. It’s up in Lad Prao, right? Yeah. It’s close to where I live actually, but. Yeah. Okay, shall we start then? Right? Okay, you want to go first? Do we wanna get a test though? A what? Nah, just, shall we just start? I will, I will give for you practise. Practise? Ah, five or four throw? Five or four? Four, four, four. Only four? Five or. Five or four? Five, okay, five, five, five. Five. Five is better than four. For, for first for you practise. Yeah because I want to try overhead and want to try with one hand and see what is best for me. Okay? Okay. You okay, you can do. Okay. After practise have the three rounds. Ah, okay. After, in three rounds. Three rounds. Three players. Yes. You can turn with him. Okay. Large. Second round turn around. Uh huh. Who a winner, champion. No idea. Shall be rewarded Golden Axe. Oh, what’s that? Something about a Golden Axe. Golden Axe. Oh, like the Sega Megadrive game? Yeah. Okay. You know the Sega Megadrive game, called Golden Axe? I have no idea what she just told us there, something about, I have no idea. But I think we just keep score, who’s got the most. Who’s got the most points wins, right? England versus Scotland. Yeah, England versus Scotland. Five free goes. Ask her who she wants to win. England or Scotland. England. Okay. Who do you want to win, England or Scotland? Huh? England or Scotland, who you want to win? Who is best? I dunno, not sure. Ah really, oh, diplomatic. Football, football I think. Football, yes.
England. Yeah, yeah but this is not football though is it? That’s the thing. Right. [laughter] Okay, eh, you want to go first? On you go mate. Show me how it’s done. Oh we’re gonna get a demonstration. Okay, go. You will be step here. Okay. No eh, no safety advice or anything, just just throw it. England, I think have good football. Okay, basically hit the green circle and make it stick. Oh, I better get out the, out the way. Okay. Oh. [laughter] Oh. All the way back. Open arm, open arm. So why didn’t that stick? That looked like you hit it perfectly. I hit the target. It just didn’t hit it on the right angle, right. Ah really, yeah? It looked like it hit it. Yeah, I thought so, so maybe it was, maybe it came a little sideways or something. I’m not sure.
Oh, okay. More power. More power? And um, you, you, ah, you throw fast. If when you throw [inaudible] About that. Same your face, face. Same your face. Keep it straight, ah alright. I understand it kinda. Go on Neil, show us how it’s done. Again. Not good. Why it didn’t stick? It’s a little bit to the side, right? Ah, because him have in a throw fast. Too fast now? Oh, you’re too fast? No, no, not fast. Okay. Not turn left and not turn right. Yeah straigh, straight.
Straight, yeah. Oh, good. Expert. Expert. Okay, same your face. go on mate. Go on. Wow, yeah. He got it to stick! He got it to stick on the wall above it. He got it to stick to something. At least he didn’t stick it in my head. Oh you just kinda get used to it at some point. Really, ah? Amount of rotation that’s going on. And it just starts working usually. Oh right. Ah, come ahead Mr Neil. On you go. Just a bit lower this time. Yeah, more power. Yeah more power. This is my last practise throw. Oh good. What’s that? 3 points? Same your face. Yeah, yeah, yes. It’s on target. More power. Right Mr Dale.
You done? Okay, just got her to turn the music off. A little bit cheeky, but eh, never mind. Yeah, okay, okay, I’m putting you on camera man duty. Sound.
This the big one is it? They’re both the same them. Good. Same same him. You lean in.
Left foot? You, you, you. You will play one hand? Or two? Eh, I dunno. Okay, right, let me go for two hand. Right he’s cheat. He was practising all day yesterday. Right, that’s three points, that’s the blue, right? That’s in the blue, that’s in the blue? First ever throw. Do you think that’s beginners luck? First ever throw and I’m getting points. Okay, this is dangerous. They didn’t give us any, like, health and safety tips or anything. Like here’s the axe. Go and bloody throw them. You get five points for that. Three points for that. Try and make it stick. Try not to stick it in someone’s nut. Okay. Oh. Oh ho. What was wrong with you mate? It’s a good job this doesn’t count. It’s just lucky. See what happens when it matters mate. Ah. What’s, how many points this? Three.
None. It’s practice. And this one? One. Okay, one, three, five, right? Yes. Okay. Zero, zero. Take it again. Ah, for him, for him. I am practise. I help him win. Okay, one more. Oh. Oh, it’s too easy mate. I might just give up now. It’s too easy. That counts as the bullseye, right? Five. Yes, five. Yes. Good. I will take photo. I will take photo of him. Take video for you. Yeah it’s recording. Okay. And you, you, eh, you practise same, same, eh, Oh, you want him to practise? Huh?
I get one more practise. Yeah, I give practise for him. Okay, you give practise? Go on. You need it mate, you need it. Try again. He needs the practise. Ohhhhhhh. I showed you how it’s done and now you’re doing it. Brilliant. What’s that? Is that a five? That’s five mate. That’s five. Alright. So if this one goes in we’ll start. Oh. What? What are you doing? What are you doing mate? When, when, you through, not fast, ka. You, you, you do not fast. When you throw, stay here. Not here. Good job that’s there, innit? Not fast, not fast. Oh go on. Yeah. I wasn’t very straight. Okay, you wanna start? Right, let’s go. You wanna start, yeah? Yeah. Okay. I think the longer we do it. Hang on I’ll set. Want me to just set this up here? That should be okay. I’m recording the audio from my chest anyway. Okay, so now you’re gonna keep score, right? England and Scotland. England versus Scotland. England. England. This England. Scotland. And yeah, the handsome one is Scotland. Okay. England, Scotland. Yeah, okay. And this here. Yes? Five. Three.
Seven, okay. Yeah, for the green ones. Three rounds. Who, who winner in two, two, two in three rounds. Yes, two in three rounds the winner. Ah, okay. Two out of three. Best two out of three for rounds. Okay, okay. Okay. First game, first round. First round, okay. Zero, zero. Ah, I’ve lost mine. Mine’s is away down the back. Where is it? I can’t get it. Okay. Thank you. Health and safety mate. I was doing it on the practise. And now that it matters, I’m choking. This seems a bit.
Bottled under pressure. This seems a bit dangerous that we’re standing next to each other. Oh, I hit the green as well. Oh you. Five! Five? I’ll take a five. You English…. ! What’s it? How many points? Five? Five. Oh, I’ve got my work cut out. Zero. Urgh. Goddamnit. Two left? Two, two throws left right on the round. Yeah, I need more power. I know. More power and you, have power. That’s three. Yes!
Zero. So I’m two behind on the last throw. Right? So I need to hit at least 3. Last throw in first round. England have 5.
5. England have 5. Scotland have 3.
Scotland have 3. Right, okay. This one is the one that matters. Right, let’s do this. Green. Argh. GG. Yeah, GG. Zero. Ah, alright. You throw fast. Okay. But you do not throw good. But you throw fast. Okay, okay.
Okay, round two. One nil mate. Switch side.
We switch sides? Ah okay. To make it fair. Second round. Just like football then. Second round. Second round? You first throw. I’ve got first throw. Okay. Yes. 5 points. Five. Zero points. Scotland with the comeback. 5 – 0. Second throw. Second throw. Okay. Yes, 5 again. Bullseye! Oh, ho ho ho ho. Complete center. Oh, I put you on pressure. Put you under pressure and you hit it. Third throw. 3.
3. Oh. What a shot. We’re getting pretty decent at this, aren’t we? Fourth throw. Fourth throw? Ah, okay. 1.
1. Ohhhhh. I think I’ve won, right? Am I 5, how many points ahead am I? Last throw. Yes? Scotland have 14 points. Yes? England got 10 points. Scotland throw first. 14 – 10. So you need to hit the bullseye and I need to miss, for you to win. Okay. Way. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Okay, so it’s down to the final deciding third round. Now. Yes, now round three. England win one. Yes. Scotland win one. Yes. Final round. Switch sides.
Switch sides again. Ah, okay. Final round. Last, last, last.
Final round. Okay. Last round, who winner. Okay mate. Scotland, Scotland. Argh. Zero. Argh. Power. Need some more power. You through it with some more power. Scotland. Good shot mate. I felt the, I felt it getting loose. When I was throwing it. Hang on. Yeah, mine is as well. Go. Oh it’s mud. Yeah. Welcome. That’s why I’m missing. The mud. On you go. On you go. Yes. Good. Right this, this felt loose. Yeah, you got mud inside it mate. Is that what it is? There’s muds inside? Yeah, I felt it getting loose as I was throwing it and it kinda distracted me. Okay. Throw three. You ready? Yeah. You? Balls. Yes. Oh, this is like a penalty shootout. It’s like when I’m doing bad, you’re doing bad, when I’m doing good, you’re doing good. Yeah, zero zero, two throws left. Fourth, fourth throw. Okay. In last round. Oh, I hit it as well. Just not enough power. I hit it and I hit it clean as well. Yes. Yes, it’s down to sudden deaath. Last throw. Yeah, zero zero. No, no have who have points. What? No, no have point. No, no have points? Nobody have points, yeah. Okay, this sudden deaath. Okay. Who winner in the last throw. Who winner in the last throw wins the game? Yes! Bullseye! Come on mate. No pressure. No pressure son. Scotland. Yes. Winner. Scotland winner. Rigged. Brilliant. Not rigged. Completely fair. You take a completely fair beating. Take photo with Golden Axe. Take photo with the Golden Axe? Hang on. I’ll wait till. Champ. Okay. Hang on, just do selfie style. Champion! Loser. Champion. Loser. Okay, oh, hey! What is this? For him. I don’t want that! Good, good game. Okay. That was fun. How did we not get any in that last one? This was a good idea, uh? Who has the good ideas? Who has the good ideas for some banter in Bangkok, uh? Well it’s a good idea for you, yeah. Not a good idea for me now. Alright, let’s pay this. Really, what we should have done is, what we should have done is loser pays. Too late now, I know, but we should have done that. If you want a rematch mate. Okay. 150 each, right. Okay, here’s the 150. No have small money? Ahh. Have small money 300 baht? Okay, I give you the 300, you. I give you the 300. Look at this. The winner’s paying. How is that fair? Okay, brilliant. The winner, it’s fair because I bottled under pressure mate. Alright, that was fun. Thank you. Okay. Wanna go get a wee mango smoothie or something? Eh. You not bothered? Let’s go get a game of pool or something. Pool? Alright, fine. Okay, so, that was us from the axe throwing place. Where next? Decent bit of banter. Now we’re going to go and have other fun in Bangkok. In private. Sorry you’re not coming with us. See ya.