Excuse me? Bill please. Bill please. Sir… Ma’am, where’s sir? There’s no sir, give it to me Ma’am I’ll give you the bill And you’ll pass it to sir I’d rather give it to him directly Why? Can’t give bill to a girl? Ma’am today you’re asking for bill tomorrow it will be rights But seriously you haven’t come here with any gent? Have come alone Father? Died 5 years ago Brother? Only child Alas! Cousin? In US Ex-boyfriend? Dead. Friends with benefits? Dildo. Laundryguy? Malti? Damn it! Doctor? You mean Dr. Gupta? Dr. Gupta! So call Dr.Gupta… Why do you assume that’s a man? One minute One minute, one minute, one minute. It’s happy hours here and you have ordered fresh lime soda Which means? It’s a boy! Seriously? Fine. Wasn’t this much ado about nothing? Thank you! Thank you sir. Thank you so much sir! Hi, excuse me, what cocktails do you recommend? We have the Cosmopolitan, we have the Screwdriver, we have the Slippery Nipple, we have the Sex on The Beach, Sex On Mountain, Orgy in Ooty Handjob At Godhbharai, Wet Spot On Dadi’s Blanket, Masturbating To Shaktimaan, Sexy Maths Teacher, Using Geography Note Book as a Tissue Paper, sadness that comes after masturbation, which is the ladies’ favourite. Actually I am allergic to that so can we just add instead a bit of Just one of those please and then you can give me the bill. Thank you. Perfect, and what about you sir? Huh? I’m good, I’m good. Thank you. Hey, you’re veg? Bro, you’re asking the same thing for 10 years Tell me one thing Are you a horse cause you’re eating grass? LOLOLOLOL Ha ha very funny. Try chicken, try it Eat it like it’s paneer No, I don’t want to, I don’t like it. Try these fish finger What’s the problem with fish? Fish is just paneer that can swim Eat it like it’s paneer No I’m good man. Beef burger? What’s beef? Buffalo What do you get from a buffalo? Milk What do you get from milk? Paneer Eat it like it’s paneer Eat it, eat! Try lamb! Who had a lamb? Mary! What rhymes with Mary? Dairy! What do you get in dairy? Milk! What do you get from milk? Paneer! Eat it like it’s paneer Go die, you jerk You know what my brother-in-law did recently? Marry Know what comes after wedding? Honeymoon. Know where he went for honeymoon? Switzerland. Know what you get in Switzerland? Yeah, yeah, Switzerland has cheese And cheese relates to paneer No Switzerland has beautiful scenery Where do we have beautiful scenery in India? Kashmir. What movie was made in Kashmir? Kashmir Ki Kali. Whom did it star? Shammi kapoor. Who is Shammi Kapoor’s contemporary? Jeetendra. Who is Jeetendra’s daughter? Ekta kapoor. What movie did Ekta Kapoor make? Krishna Cottage. What else is cottage? Cottage Cheese. What is cottage cheese called in Hindi? Paneer! So eat it like it’s paneer Eat it, you impotent! No! Non veg is best bro! NON VEG NON VEG NON VEG! Eat it like it’s paneer Eat it like it’s paneer Eat it like it’s paneer Have you ever tried a human? Tastes exactly like paneer Eat it like it’s paneer Puke! Puke! Puke! He finished the alcohol first! So obviously he’s more macho! Guys, remember the old college story? That I’ll shout and let everyone know Loud Agreement. Excuse me sir, so sorry. But could you all Take it in your mouth and dance Other tables are saying This restaurant doesn’t belong to you Guys guys guys… You all forgot! Which is why I got from Ahmed Bakery last minute Rs.200 cheap cake! We got an excuse! To scream in public! His dad forgot condom Now you all regret Now you all regret!