– The WiFi in this hotel
is totally unsecured. It would be unfortunate if
someone decided to exploit that for their own gain. (sinister chuckling) I wonder what constitutes
trashing a hotel room. Have I made it there yet? Have I reached that echelon? The housekeeping staff
(tense music) did not make my bed satisfactorily today. Things were out of line
and not tucked enough. I am getting so many rewards points by booking this hotel with
my travel credit card. I feel like I’m playing a very financially-responsible video game. No, I prefer sleeping
on the pull-out couch, it makes me feel like I’m in solidarity with all the poor people who
sleep on pull-out couches. It’s interesting to think of the hundreds, if not thousands of strangers who have slept in this bed before me, making me feel strangely
and uncomfortably connected with humanity as a whole. Instead of sleeping last night, I watched a marathon of Triple-D. (mystical music) And now Flavortown is more
real to me than the world. – [Guy] I’m Guy Fieri! – I wish I had a Do Not
Disturb sign for my life. Well, I guess I do, it’s just my face. I’m usually against tipping, but for cleaning up that bathroom
after me, you deserve it. Check-out time is 11, it is now 10:15, we are cutting this way
too close for comfort. What is this painting supposed to be? This like some reject, abstract, post-expressionist, Soviet– I know I’ve had six cups
of coffee already today, but how can I turn down
the free lobby coffee? I don’t know if the guests
in the room above me are playing Just Dance 2,
or have a baby elephant in their room. Either way, I’m going up to
find out, and I’m after blood. Yeah, right, I’m so pumped,
this place has a gym! Ah nah, ah nah, nah. 50 pounds, that’s it? That’s weak, man. (woeful music) No, no, I missed it, no, no,
no, (gasp) no God, please, no. (sobbing softly) And hack into their stuff,
(upbeat music) but it’s not gonna be me, is what I’m trying to say. But I could if I wanted to.